Then some nonstandard ones. The obituary was only the beginning. It read like this: Czernia, Oren, 34, of Clearwater, passed away on Jan. A University of Miami graduate, he is survived by parents; daughter; sister, nieces and nephews. Mitchell Cremation Chapel.
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Dhat post then appeared on a message board for Bruce Springsteen fans at Backstreets. It was written by someone called MrBaseball That was Oren's screen rooj. Hello, the post began. My name is Michael - the name of one of Oren's friends - and today I come to you with a very heavy heart. I know how much this place meant to him so I thought I should notify all of you. After a brief illness Oren passed away He was my best friend and I will mourn him for the rest of my life.
The responses to the post started immediately.
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Many of the people who post on Backstreets know each other in real life, too, from concerts, ball games or bars. Some of them go on vacation together. Some of them babysit for each other. Some of them are engaged. Springsteen is the common denominator but hardly the only topic of talk.
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They cgat the board a community. A family. Oren was a big part of that. He was known for his generosity with his bootleg recordings. He sent people's kids baseball cards. He told his friends on the board, in posts and messages, and in conversations in person, about his marriage problems and his cancer.
Oren did it, too, and in those two weeks they spent tons of time together. They had lots of laughs, she said, but sometimes she sensed he was having troubles or feeling down. Then Oren stopped posting as much. Then came Jan.
A later post provided more intimate details: Brain tumor. Ice on his head. Roim in the dark. A risky operation. A stroke on the table. The eulogies continued. The people on Backstreets called him genuine and kind, brave and classy to the end, an extraordinary man who had a heart and soul of solid gold. One of the brightest stars in this dysfunctional little universe rooj have created here. Never afraid to apologize or say he was wrong. The outpouring of grief quickly jumped the porous borders of the Internet and started morphing into plans for real trips to real baseball games in his memory, real caps with his screen name embroidered on the back, and real checks coming from real people in real places as far away as the Netherlands.
Jim Kulhawy of New Jersey, screen name shaman, took charge organizing all the efforts, talking to ticket people and printing people and setting up a PayPal. One poster on the board suggested starting a fund for Oren's daughter.
MrBaseball posted quickly. She's all taken care of. Like maybe flowers sent to the funeral home. And here is where the week-long thread of messages began to get tangled in doubt. There was the time he got mugged.
There was the time someone killed himself at the office. There was the time he got a ride from musician Gary U.
All of which he had been forced to admit were not true. In this instance, they thought, too bllack things didn't add up: the suspiciously thin obit, the phantom funeral home, the absence of his name on the Social Security death index. Also, this: Oren, screen name "Oren," was still posting on a Frank Sinatra message board he was known to frequent.
Lynne Cardamone, screen name LynneSDaytona, had been to concerts with Oren, and dialed from Daytona to tell his mother she was sorry. Oren's not dead, she said. They had been unraveling it for most of the week since the initial announcement, in phone calls and private messages, even as the tearful tributes continued online and also on a Springsteen radio show. Finally, on Feb. The reaction? Mostly angry. People who had cared like crazy now felt so foolish.
There's a professor of psychology at the University of Alabama who studies this stuff. He coined the term: Munchausen by Internet. It means faking online illness or death to get sympathy or attention. Those who do it, said the professor, Marc Feldman, who also wrote a book called Playing Sick, are "obviously very needy people.
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All to get attention? What was the payoff? He's overweight with thinning hair and a lazy blqck eye. He says his life is "boring. It wasn't a hoax, he said. It was a misunderstanding.
He said he had needed to "disappear for a while" because of some personal problems, which include financial omgg, which anybody can see in public records. He said his friend Michael agreed to help him go away but took it too far. At the end of the meeting, he asked: "Do you believe me?
This time he said he had a gambling problem - "It's in me," he said - and that he had used Backstreets as a cover when his wife asked him why he was spending so much time online. His friend Michael thought it would be good for him if he ogm go online anymore and killed him off without him knowing.
He only found out, he said, after his mother got calls asking if he was bpack. One day he says his marriage is fine. The next day it's not. One day he says he has never had cancer. The next day he's showing you the scar on the side of his neck where he says a tumor was removed.
And the University of Miami? Never went. He insisted he wanted to look people in the eye, straight, and tell them the truth. Sitting in Starbucks, he did this, the only way he can. Oren used two fingers to cover his right eye.
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His lazy left eye snapped to the center, focused for an instant, but only by his own manipulation. Oren's friend Michael is real. He has an address in California and a phone and a Facebook. And he has no idea whatsoever why Oren decided to use his name to do whatever it is he did on some message board. When presented with this information, Oren said it was done by somebody else, this time a woman with no name. There could be meetings with Oren Czernia.
There would be different stories. Oren was asked: Is Oren honest? Answer: "One of the most honest people you'll ever meet - unless he's trying to protect himself. So what? Here's what: The people on Backstreets turned on Oren, hard, but they also turned on each other. They bickered on the board about who knew what, and when, and why those who knew more didn't share that so the rest of them didn't end up feeling so silly and hurt.
This kind of infighting, said Feldman, the professor, is not unusual. You can't retaliate. So people turn on each other.
Still, though, there are wounds.