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I decided to keep our appointment. All my friends are married with. Bayard was patient and listened to me vent.

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I decided to keep our appointment.

All my friends are married with. Bayard was patient and listened to me vent.

I told her I almost canceled our session out of pure shame. Most people, I thought, make friends without a strategy or game plan. Those with social anxiety struggle because they are in their head and second guess themselves.

I felt ready to hear what Bayard had in store for me and was happy to know that there were only three challenges she wanted me to tackle tl the next month to help me make friends. I wrote each challenge down and devoted at least one week to following through on them.

The first thing Bayard advised me to do was take inventory of people I know and who they know. Who are the people you sometimes see at the same parties and share mutual friends, but never have one-on-one conversations? Start there. But before I did, I asked Bayard for advice on what to say.

She advised me to send that person a message on Instagram asking them to get coffee. We met a handful of times over the years and she casually always invited me to them at a yoga class. I did exactly what Bayard advised and messaged her on Instagram.